December 27th Memories

The last few days have been filled with memories of Steve. The thing that we will always remember is Steve's laugh. We took a ride down memory lane driving down University Avenue last night. We went to dinner at Il Fornaio and the memories were a treasure. Steve surprised me on our wedding night by booking the Presidential Suite at the Garden Court Hotel (where Il Fornaio is). I remember how much fun we had in the limo on the ride from the Circus Club to Palo Alto. Both of us just kept smiling and saying "husband" and "wife". I remember everyone looking at us. I was in my dress and he was so handsome in his tuxedo. He made me close my eyes the whole way up to the room. It was absolutely beautiful. We had a basket of snacks and champagne to celebrate our wedding. It took him forever to get the hundreds of pins that were in my hair out. He would laugh at that every year on our anniversary. We enjoyed a leisurely breakfast in Il Fornaio the next morning before we were getting ready to leave for our honeymoon. I will always remember that day fondly.

I was also remembering so many other things on University Avenue...his 25th surprise birthday party, going to sushi art Myakis (his favorite) when we were dating and then of course the night after we were engaged, having fun at the pub he worked at. So many memories and so many of them remembering his laugh, smile and big hugs.

To my boys, your Dad was such a warm, loving person. Never forget that.

December 24th Memories

Merry Christmas Eve!

Tonight was a little bittersweet for the boys and I. They were good until we started reading "Twas the Night Before Christmas!" Daddy always read that book...in fact, I have many pictures of the boys with Steve reading our copy. There were a few tears and lots of hugs. We read the book and talked about Daddy and I reminded the boys he's in heaven with Jesus and we will see him again. We'll be with him for eternity.

"Dear God, thank you for our memories and thank you for Jeremy," my sweet Will said.

I followed with a prayer for God to be with us as we go through tomorrow and we prayed for ALL of our family that is here and elsewhere.

"Dear God, thank you for the time we got to spend with Daddy," said Jeremy.

My angel boys miss him and so do I, but we are blessed to know he is celebrating the birth of Christ with Jesus himself. Merry Christmas Steven Duncan Katz, we love you!

December 23rd Memories

Tonight we went to church at Menlo Park Presbyterian Church for Christmas Eve (Eve) Service. It's such a large church, they start services a day early. Steve loved going to Christmas Eve service there. They used to do candles for the entire audience, but now they just have the choir line the aisles with candles. It was still absolutely amazing. The music was beautiful with a mini orchestra and choir. The tree was also beautiful as it was lit in white lights and then had colored lights that were timed with the service and would turn different colors with the colors in the different slides on the screen.

Before we moved to Oregon, we would go to church there and I have fond memories of waiting in line with Steve, his arms wrapped around me. Tonight was perfect and Jeremy and I were joyous to be there worshipping our savior. They sung "Silent Night" at the end of the service with all of the candles lit and it was fitting that it was happening right at 7:30pm, the time we lost Steve one month ago today. Jeremy and I held each other and sang to Jesus. We both had tears because we miss Steve so much, but we know he is waiting for us.

Merry Christmas!

Living in the Wilsonville Community

Here is the full page article that ran in the Wilsonville Spokesman about our amazing community.

http://www.wilsonvillespokesman.com/news/2010/December/21/Community/community.rallies.behind.katz.family/news.aspx

December 22nd Memories

It's been awhile since we did memories because we've been busy with Steve's celebration of life and Christmas. We talked today and both boys wish Daddy was here for Christmas...me too!

Our memories today started with Jeremy. We were talking about when he got his scooter that would turn into a skateboard. It has big wheels. Jeremy remembers Daddy taking him to the skate park and pushing him down the ramps with him sitting on the board and holding the scooter handle. It was awesome.

Will remembers Daddy walking over to the school and playing on the playground. He loved going up the stairs with Daddy and going down the great big slide. Every time we brought Blazer he would escape and we'd have to chase him.

My memory of Steve is driving up to skyline when we were first dating. He had the blue camaro and would drive so fast, but at that time, it didn't bother me. We would look up at the stars and talk about so much, our plans for the future.

Grandma Katz added a memory tonight. We were talking about how Will keeps sneeking into my bed at night. Well, he must get it from Daddy. He used to sneek into their bed at night too! After awhile, they kicked him to the floor in a sleeping bag, but eventually would just tell him to go back to bed. At that point, he would wander down the hall and the only one to let him in was his sister Diane.

As we get closer to Christmas, we are missing Steve more and more!

December 15th Memories

The boys are so excited to have "Gaga" with them tonight. We stayed up a little late, but they were so excited to do memories. Jeremy started tonight by sharing how excited he was to be surprised by Steve on his trip back to Oregon in October 2010. He remembered me coming into the classroom, asking Mrs. Locke if I could talk with Jeremy. He wasn't sure what was going on. He walked out into the porch and there stood Daddy. He was so excited. He just wanted to hug Daddy forever. Daddy also gave him his Giants shirt. At the time they hadn't won the World Series, so it was a NL Champions shirt. "We know how that ended though."







Will decided to continue his memory with his memory of that day too. He remembers that I had a big surprise for him and he came out of his classroom to find Daddy. He was so excited he was smiling from ear to ear and jumping up and down. "How did you do that Mommy?" I told him that Daddy flew up here on an airplane. I was almost afraid he was going to ask if Steve could fly up here again. He's been a little unsure of everything going on and I knew it would upset Jeremy. He didn't though. I think he's getting pretty clear that Daddy is in Heaven with Jesus and he's not coming back.


The boys picked my memory tonight. They wanted me to tell them about the large nutcracker we have by our fireplace that Daddy got me last year. He gave me a nutcracker every year for the last 15 and last year I got a surprise. There wasn't one waiting for me when I woke up so I was surprised. Steve waited until we were done opening presents and them he and the boys went and got the big nutcracker. The boys were so excited to give it to me and they actually dropped it. Steve was upset for a brief minute, but made sure it was okay. We all settled down and I hugged and kissed him and told him I loved it. I never realized it would be our last Christmas together.

We miss Steve dearly and we know it will probably get harder as Christmas draws near. Thank you to our friends, family, church, community for taking care of us right now.

December 12th Memories

Today is a good day. We got lots done as we're preparing for the Celebration Service this Saturday. I want to hold on to these things for sweet Will. As I've said, he doesn't quite get what is happening. He is excited to see Daddy in heaven again, which makes me smile.

We had a busy weekend, which is good, in a way, as it keeps the boys distracted. After a long night at our Life Group Christmas party, the boys came home, bathed and were finally ready for bed. The boys asked me to start with my memory and so I told them the story of the Santa Clara County Fair. I was working there when Steve and I started dating. He was always so funny, so competitive and always wanting to do something that might get us in trouble. Each department had their own golf cart, including my department, special events. After the fair would close at night a lot of the young people who worked there would meet back in the barn to have a beer, relax and just socialize. One night, we decided it would be really fun to race golf carts. Steve was definitely into the idea and wanted to be the first one in the cart. (As Jeremy mentioned, most of the carts all went the same speed, but that didn't stop us.) We got in the golf carts and zoomed around the fairgrounds. I remember laughing and laughing as we sped in and out of paths, almost crashing into other golf carts. We all made it in one piece up to the front of the grounds by my office. Steve had the biggest smile on his face. I knew I was in for the ride of my life that night and boy I was right.

Jeremy and Will talked about this memory a lot, asking lots of questions and laughing at Daddy. Jeremy decided to try and remember a funny time. The first thing he thought of was going up to Chad's property and camping 2 years ago. They rode the 4-wheeler, shot a 22, went fishing and just spent great time together. Jeremy had so much fun with Steve that trip.

Will remembers it a little bit, but what he remembers is driving with Daddy on all of the trails in the truck while he was sitting on Daddy's lap. "I was driving the car Mommy."

It's still hard to believe he's gone and I'm sure we'll have hard moments for years to come. I talked to a friend over the weekend who lost his Mom when he was 11. He says it made him a better person and the man he is today. I agree with him for the most part. I think losing my mom made me a different person, but I'm still so sad the boys won't have a father. Thanks to all of the guys who have stepped up to this challenge - you won't replace Steve, but you will help the boys when they need you most.

December 9th Memories

I asked people on Facebook to send me memories that I could either play during Steve's service on the 18th or they can write a memory that we will cherish and I'll post here!

Will ended our prayers tonight...I wish Daddy could come back to us. I know he can't. Thank you for our friends. Thank you for my school. Thank you for Jeremy. Thank you for Mommy. Thank you for being here for us God. Amen.

Needless to say I started crying and Jeremy wrapped his arms around me and whispered in my ear, "It's okay to cry Mommy."

My sweet tender boys amaze me every day.

Jeremy's memory was going to Disneyland/California Adventure. Waiting in really long lines, riding the monorail and talking about staying at the Disneyland Hotel next time we go. He also remembers riding Soarin' Over California with Daddy and holding his hand and smiling the whole ride.

That sparked Will's memory of buying their Mickey Lightsabers, the most afordable thing in the park that the boys loved, only $6.95. He remembers staying in our hotel room where they had bunk beds and dueling with Daddy with the lightsaber, he of course was Anakin.

My memory that I shared with my boys was the night Steve proposed. I did not expect it at all. For those who remember, I thought for sure he was going to propose on our amazing trip to Mexico with Tina and Ernie. He didn't...so, I thought he was going to propose at Christmas in the Park in December since Christmas is our favorite time of year. He surprised me by taking me out to dinner on October 16, 1997. We were using a gift certificate that his parents gave us to John Bentley's. We had a lovely dinner, with lovely wine and he asked if I wanted to go for a drive on Skyline. We did that all of the time, so I said sure, but was none the wiser. We drove up to our spot with the view of the Bay Area and all it's lights. We got out of the car and he was a little shaky. He started talking about our love and how amazing we were together. He told me he wanted to be with me forever and got down on one knee and presented me with the most beautiful ring. I couldn't even speak so I didn't answer right away and that made him a little nervous. He said, "Well, I'm waiting!!" That snapped me out of the delirium I was in. I grabbed him around the neck and yelled, "Of course I'll marry you." He kissed me gently and we were both so happy.

December 8th Memories

Tonight was hard. It has been long a day for everyone so our prayers and memories were short. The void Steve has left in our hearts and in our lives is huge today.

Will started our night with the memory of going to the Monster Truck show. The boys have been spoiled because for so many years I was able to get tickets in a suite where they got to wear big headphones and run around while they ate and drank whatever they wished. Last year we bought tickets in the regular seats. With all of the noise you'll never believe what happened...Will fell asleep. He would jump every time a truck would rev it's engine. Steve could not believe it and we laughed and laughed about that.

Jeremy talked about going to Bridgeport Village with Daddy and Will to a car show. He had so much fun looking at all of the neat cars and there were 2 porsches that were identical. Jeremy thought that was so cool.

How fitting that we talk about cars. I feel like so many memories have to do with a car, truck, NASCAR, scooter, golf cart...but those are memories for another day!

December 6th Memories

We prayed tonight for our hearts. We prayed that Daddy knows how much we love and miss him.

I started tonight, telling the boys about the night I fell in love with Steve. As a lot of people know, I did not particularly like Steve when I first met him. I thought he was a typical frat boy, with a fast car. On July 8, 1994 that all changed. My sorority sisters talked me into going roller blading, which of course meant a visit to Sigma Pi. With no shoes, shorts and a t-shirt I walked into Sigma Pi not realizing my life would change forever. Steve and I really talked that night. We talked about our future, our beliefs, our fears, everything that would fit into a 6 hour conversation. Such a gentleman, he asked to walk me home. Of course, it was downtown San Jose at 3am so his chilvalry was much appreciated. He asked if he could kiss me when we got to the door. For those of you who remember, that was tricky as we both were dating someone else. I let him kiss me and I knew that night that I loved him and wanted to be with him forever.

Jeremy and Will loved this story and couldn't wait to tell their own. Jeremy talked with such excitment about wandering around the Oregon Convention Center looking at so many kinds of cars. There were new cars and old cars, electric cars and fast cars. Daddy showed him the engines and the accessories. Of course Daddy told him the kind of car he wanted...a 1956 Corvette.

Will continued our night with his sweet memory of Jeremy and Will's last night with Steve. He loved putting on the gowns and masks and playing dress-up...they were Hufflepuff Quiditch players you know (because of the yellow).

Memories

My son, Jeremy, came up with a great idea. When we go to bed, we're going to each say a memory that is special to us about Daddy. My friend Tina suggested I put it in a journal. I'm going to do that, but I also decided I'm going to start a blog. I want everyone to send in memories they have of Steve so that the boys can look back and really know what an amazing person their father was.